


Roll the Dice

by Kittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Minor Injuries, Snoke Ships It, a bit of implied phasma/mitaka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 00:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittens/pseuds/Kittens
Summary: What's the best way to make sure the First Order runs smoothly and efficiently? Why, team building exercises of course!





	Roll the Dice

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kyluxxoxo Fest 2018
> 
> Week 5: Fake/Night/Magic

Kylo stomped his way down the hallway towards Snoke’s throne room, angry at being summoned in the middle of his nightly meditation. Snoke knew his schedule and knew he didn’t like being bothered. In fact, Snoke himself had told him on countless occasions that he needed to be completely focused during his meditation. So why had he summoned him?

He ran into Lieutenant Mitaka on his way, heading the same direction. His loud footsteps must have caught his attention, as he glanced behind him and then quickly got out of his way. He could still sense Mitaka behind him in the Force, but he stayed back far enough that Kylo didn’t pay any attention to him. It wasn’t until he was nearly at the throne room that he realized Mitaka was still following him. That didn’t make any sense. Why would Snoke have summoned him of all people?

Before he could turn around and ask what he was doing, he sensed that there were two others waiting near the door to the throne room. Temporarily forgetting about Mitaka, he walked up to Hux, standing in his personal space so Hux didn’t forget that he was just a little bit taller.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Same as you, I suppose,” Hux replied. “The Supreme Leader summoned the two of us as well.”

Kylo glanced over at Phasma, who was leaning against the door to the throne room. If Snoke had summoned all of them, it must be a very serious situation. He heard Mitaka approaching behind him, and he stopped a safe distance away. Or at least, he was out of range of Kylo’s lightsaber.

“Are we just going to stand here all day?” Kylo asked, walking over to the access panel. He punched in his access code only to have a red flash of denial light up on the panel. He entered it again, slower, but still couldn’t gain access.

“We’re all locked out,” Phasma said. “The general and I were discussing whether or not we might have been sent a summons by mistake.”

“You might have been,” Kylo said, glancing at Mitaka. That would be the most likely reason for Mitaka to be there. “He doesn’t make mistakes with me.”

“Neither of our codes work either,” Hux said. “Lieutenant, why don’t you try yours?”

Mitaka cautiously made his way over to the panel, pausing when Kylo simply stood in his way before stepping around him and entering his code on the panel. Just like Kylo’s, it didn’t work.

“There’s got to be a reason for this,” Hux said. “If Snoke summoned us here, but we can’t get in, there’s something he’s playing at.”

“You think it’s a puzzle of some sort?” Phasma asked.

“Exactly. Let’s try entering all of our codes as one. I don’t think that’ll do it, but it’s a place to start.” 

“I have a better idea,” Kylo said as Hux started walking towards the access panel. He shoved him out of the way and removed his lightsaber from his belt. He ignited it and started cutting a hole in the door, ignoring Hux’s protests.

He didn’t get very far when the door slid open. Kylo turned to Hux and grinned, but then he remembered he had his mask on and Hux couldn’t see. The general looked completely unimpressed by his work and stepped inside. Kylo was right behind him.

“That could have gone better,” Snoke said as they approached his throne. “I’m very sorry to inform you that you’ve failed the first team building exercise, but there are plenty more to make up for that.”

“Team building exercise?” Kylo asked, not quite believing what he’d heard. Snoke had really interrupted his meditation for team building exercises? He could sense that Hux also felt some outrage, although he surprisingly held his tongue.

“I’ve decided that for the First Order to really flourish, it’s important that our highest ranking members work together as perfectly as possible. And Dopheld, I’ve invited you to round out our numbers.”

Kylo glanced over at Mitaka, who looked like he was about to faint or wet his pants. Hux, although giving off angry energy, was standing perfectly calm next to him. And Phasma, on Kylo’s other side, was as unreadable as always, both physically and in the Force.

“A few ground rules,” Snoke continued. “Nothing we say or do here is to be brought up once we leave. I’d like us all to refer to each other by name. We’re all friends here for the moment. And of course, it’s going to be much easier if helmets were removed.”

Neither Kylo or Phasma moved for a few moments, but Kylo knew that there was no point arguing, so he finally raised his hands and hit the release on his helmet, dropping it on the floor. Phasma also removed hers, although she held onto it.

“For this first part, let’s just take a seat at the table.” Snoke motioned to a table set up on the side of the room. Mitaka moved immediately to follow orders but paused when he realized no one else had moved. Finally, Hux started walking over, with Phasma not far behind. Not wanting to take part in any of it, Kylo waited until everyone else was already at the table before finally giving in. 

“Before we really get started, I’d like everyone to go around and tell everyone what it is they don’t like about each other. Just so we know exactly how we all feel and what we’re working with. And remember, be honest. No one will get in trouble for anything said here.”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux started to say.

“Now, Armitage, I think you’ll remember that I asked all of us to be called by name. Why don’t you call me Larry?”

“Uh, Larry,” Hux said, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t think this will be a productive exercise. We’re just going to resent each other.”

“I disagree, Armitage, and on that note, I think you should go first. Just tell everyone something you don’t like about them.”

“Fine. Kylo, you’re an immature child who throws temper tantrums when you don’t get your way. You’re obnoxious, you frighten my crew for no good reason, you’re loud, arrogant, and -”

“Armitage, you need to tell everyone what you don’t like. Not just focus on one person. Now, please tell Dopheld and Phasma something that you don’t like about them.”

“Right,” Hux said, turning his attention to the others. “So, Dopheld, you are a bit timid. And Phasma, uh, your armor is sometimes blinding.”

“Very good, Armitage,” Snoke said, clapping his hands together. “Now would you like to tell me something you don’t like about me?”

“Not particularly.”

“Well, as much as it hurts to be excluded, let’s move on. Kylo, why don’t you go next?”

“Yeah, um, Phasma. I don’t like that you’re taller than me. Lieutenant -”

“Use names, Kylo, not ranks.”

“Uh, what’s your name again?” Kylo asked. He knew the others had said it, but he couldn’t remember. Just like he always thought of Hux’s first name as “General,” he’d thought of Mitaka’s as “Lieutenant.”

“Dopheld,” Mitaka answered, voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Yeah, okay, Dopheld. I don’t like your name. It’s stupid. Larry.” Kylo felt strange calling Snoke anything but “Master” to his face. “I don’t like that you’re making us do this. And Armitage. I literally hate everything about you.”

“Kylo, it’s more helpful if you’re specific,” Snoke suggested.

“Yeah, well, we’d be here all night in that case.” He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, glaring at Hux across the table.

Phasma went next, and then Mitaka, who sounded like he might cry when he had to tell three of his superior officers what he didn’t like about them. And Snoke also took a turn. Unlike the others, who had mostly said something inconsequential, Snoke tore into them. Not that Kylo cared. He’d done far worse than said mean things to him. 

“That went well,” Snoke said. “So our next game is called two truths and a lie. Everyone is going to say three facts about themselves. Two of them should be true and one false. Then the others are going to guess which one is fake. I’ll go first.”

Kylo ignored everyone’s answers and didn’t really try to guess as he simply didn’t care. When it was his turn, he just made up three things off the top of his head so no matter what the others guessed was false, they’d be right and they could move on. Of course, Snoke seemed to have an endless source of idiotic games they could play with each other and Kylo couldn't even count how many they played.

“These next games are partner games,” Snoke said once they’d finished yet another terrible game. “So I’ll be sitting out. Phasma, I’d like you to partner with Dopheld, and Kylo, you and Armitage will be partners.”

Kylo opened his mouth to complain, but Snoke kept talking, explaining their next game. That’s when Kylo realized he might be able to have some fun with it. Their goal was to lead one partner, blindfolded, across the room, while the Praetorian Guard tried to stop them. Then, they’d switch to go back.

Once Hux was blindfolded, Kylo took his hand and started dragging him across the room, not even caring about the guards. In fact, he pushed Hux into their path several times. Sadly, none of them were using lethal force, which was a shame, Kylo thought. It would have been far more entertaining that way.

Finally, Kylo had Hux across the room and he tore the blindfold off, cursing at him and then punching him. Kylo felt blood on his lip and he shoved Hux back, pulling the blindfold from his hands as he did so.

“I won’t need your help,” Kylo said, tying it around his eyes. With the Force, he could easily make his way back across the room on his own. He took off, dodging the guards with ease. He’d almost made it back when he sensed a different kind of danger right as he heard a blaster being fired.

Kylo reached out with the Force, stopping the incoming blaster bolt without even seeing it. He took the blindfold off to see that Hux had indeed took a shot at his back. After stepping out of the way, he released the bolt and pulled Hux’s blaster away.

“You just tried to kill me!” Kylo shouted at him.

“So did you!”

“You weren’t in any danger! You just got a little beat up! And it’s not my fault you don’t know how to avoid danger while blindfolded!”

“Well, not all of us have magic powers!” Hux screamed. “And you weren’t really in danger either!”

“Armitage, Kylo,” Snoke interrupted them. He came and stood between them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “Remember, we want to work together better, not worse. So why don’t you watch Phasma and Dopheld and think about how you can work better on the next exercise? Those two are doing wonderfully.”

Kylo looked and saw that they were switching the blindfold. Mitaka had successfully lead Phasma across the room. If she’d been hit at all, it would be impossible to tell because of her armor. Instead of taking Mitaka by the hand, she scooped him up in her arms and ran across the room, dodging the guards. Mitaka screamed in terror the entire way and even after Phasma had stopped, he still had his arms wrapped around her neck.

“Very good, you two,” Snoke said, clapping. “Armitage and Kylo could learn a lot from you two. Especially since we need to be able to trust our partners for this next one as well. This time, we’ll be doing trust falls.”

Everyone groaned at that. Kylo thought he even heard some of the guards groaning. They probably had to do similar exercises, Kylo realized and they probably thought they were just as stupid as Kylo did.

They kept their same partners, which was fine when Mitaka climbed onto the table and fell backwards into Phasma’s arms. But when Phasma was on the table, Mitaka looked terrified. Probably because he knew he couldn’t catch her. Before he could say anything, the tower of chrome was falling back towards him and he held his hands up.

Kylo took pity on both of them and reached out with the Force, grabbing Phasma as she hit Mitaka’s arms. To an observer, it probably looked as if Mitaka had caught her in a very awkward way. But Mitaka knew he did do it, and once Phasma was on her feet, he gave Kylo a small smile and mouthed, “Thank you.”

“Kylo, you should give it some thought before you actively sabotage this exercise,” Snoke said. “There may be consequences if you do.”

“I thought nothing we did here would matter,” Kylo muttered to himself as Hux got on the table. But he knew a threat when he heard one, so when Hux dropped, Kylo caught him and helped him stand on his feet.

“You can let go now,” Hux said, once he was standing. Kylo realized he hadn’t let go right away like he should have. Embarrassed, he got on the table himself.

“Ready?” he asked Hux.

“Ready,” Hux replied. 

Kylo leaned back and fell, waiting for Hux’s arms to catch him, but they never did. Instead, he found his rear on the floor, accompanied by Hux’s laughter. Angry, Kylo took his lightsaber from his belt, but before he could turn it on, he felt it ripped from his hand. He turned his attention to Snoke.

“I think that’s fair after what you did to him in the last exercise,” Snoke said, walking over and giving Kylo his lightsaber back. “Now, I have one more activity planned, although I think we’ll need additional sessions for the two of you.”

“Please no,” Kylo and Hux said at the same time. They glanced at each other. At least they could both hate the activities together while they hated each other. 

“So, Dopheld and Phasma, I think this last one will be easy for you. Once you complete it, you are free to leave. I want you to embrace your partner and tell them one thing you like about them. You’ll need to hug each other until you both say something.”

Kylo and Hux slowly and awkwardly approached each other, reaching their arms out towards each other and barely making contact with the tips of their fingers before drawing back. Slowly, they drew themselves closer together, which clearly wasn’t fast enough for Snoke, as they soon found themselves pressed together.

In the time it had taken them to actually hug, Phasma and Mitaka had already completed their task and were leaving. Kylo rolled his eyes at their compliments of “I like your eyes” and “You have a nice voice.” 

He would never say such things to Hux, and Snoke wouldn’t really keep them their forever. Several minutes had passed, and neither of them had said anything. Kylo didn’t like anything about him, and he wasn’t going to make something up. He also wanted to prove to Snoke that the exercise was pointless because nothing could make him like Hux.

“Kylo, just hurry up and say something.”

“You first,” Kylo said, still having no intention of playing along. He just wanted to know what Hux would say about him.

“Fine. I like the way you hug. You’re really strong and I like the way you feel. Your turn.”

“I still hate everything about you,” Kylo said.

“Just fake it so we can be done!” Hux hissed in his ear. “Please, Kylo. I can’t stay like this much longer.”

“Why not?” Almost as soon as he spoke, he felt what Hux meant between his legs. “Oh. Do you… like me? Like that?”

“I think the answer to that is obvious,” Hux growled. “Can you please just get this over with?”

“I like holding you,” Kylo blurted out without meaning to. “That’s why I really don’t want to say anything because then it’ll be over and you’ll never let me do this again.”

“What?”

He could feel Hux trying to push away from him, but Kylo held him so he couldn't move.

“Very good, Kylo,” Snoke said. “It’s always good to tell people how you really feel, which was the real goal of this whole night. Now, that wasn’t something about him you like, so go ahead and say something nice.”

“I like the way your ass looks in uniform,” Kylo said, wishing Snoke wasn’t there to hear it. Although he’d already heard the rest, so it really didn’t matter that much. They finally let go and immediately looked away from each other.

“Well, at least we ended on a positive note,” Snoke said before they could leave. “You clearly have a long way to go, so I think you might benefit from sharing a room for a week or two. Why don’t you try it out and tell me how things are going in a few days?”

Finally dismissed, they left the throne room in silence and walked down the hallways towards their rooms, which were across the hall from each other. They didn’t speak until they reached their doors.

“I suppose we’ll have to go along with it,” Hux said. “He’ll know if we don’t, won’t he?”

“He will” Kylo opened the door to his room and reached out to grab Hux’s hand. “But if I’m honest, I really wouldn’t mind spending some time with you. Just the two of us.”

“Really, Ren? Or should I still call you Kylo?”

“I.. I’d like it if you did,” he admitted as he stepped into his rooms, pulling Hux inside with him. “I’m sorry I let you get hurt.”

“I’m sorry I let you fall. And that I tried shooting you.”

Kylo couldn’t help but smile, surprised but glad that Hux apologized. He felt like he was the first person to ever get that from him. Remembering his reaction when they held each other earlier, he took a gamble and reached his free hand to his face, gently touching the side of his face. Hux leaned into his touch, and they remained just like that for several moments.

Finally, Hux reached up and grabbed him by the cowl, pulling him down. Kylo started to stand up and push away from Hux until their lips touched and he realized what Hux wanted. He put his arms around him so he could hold him once again while they kissed.

“Do you think this is the kind of team building we’re supposed to be doing?” Hux asked when he pulled away from Kylo.

“I hope so, because I like this kind of team building.” Kylo grinned and leaned in for another kiss. Maybe Snoke had the right idea all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Come ask me about birds on [tumblr](http://threewinterssnow.tumblr.com).


End file.
